i thought that you would have took the initiative to do it.
but i should have guessed,
how wrong i was, so terribly wrong.
i shouldnt have been so gullible,
i should have known.
i was lying to myself,
i tried to delude myself,
i tried to make me feel happy.

but i should have known,
that it would not have worked out the way i wanted it to be,
so why continue deceiving myself?

when i know that i'm going to get hurt in the end?
everything i've sacrificed,

just isnt worth it anymore.


cant believe i fell sick.
shit. T__T


had fnn today.
its like.. a pile of SHIT.
actually it isnt that bad, it wasnt that difficult either.

studied till 1 yesterday.
dad scolded me for studying too long.
now, thats a history,
never in my life i've heard my dad scolding me for studying too long.
i secretly took my fnn textbook,
brought it to my bedroom,
off the lights,
changed my hp's option,
the backlight, from 30 seconds to 10 mins,
and started revising in the dark.

i dont know why,
i'm super afraid about my fnn papers.
i didnt want to flunk it, esp fnn (:

about half of what i've studied,
didnt come out.
instead, what i didnt read came out.

overall, it was quite okay.


i hate it whenever you guys leave me alone.
not them,
them.
her.
he.
you only came to me when you did not have someone to hang out with.
it sucks lah,
it seems like i've been used by you guys.
i dread going to elective lessons.
PUI!


thanks suhayl,
i really needed that today..
thanks for cheering me up!
thanks again (:


FUCK YOU ISMAIL.
FUCK YOU.
STOP THE FUCKING LANGUAGE OF YOURS,
STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE'S SIZE,
NOW, WHY DONT YOU GO CRAWLING BACK TO THE FUCKING HOUSE OF YOURS,
INSTEAD OF JUST LOITERING AT MY HOUSE'S VOID DECK,
SMOKING, I SUPPOSE?
DONT YOU HAVE YOUR MALAY LANGUAGE TMR?
FUCK YOU,
SERIOUSLY,
FUCK YOU, STOP SAYING PEOPLE FAT.
KNN. YOU MAKE ME FUMMING MAD.


choices are what you've made,
what you've decided in the end.
so dont come crying to me if yours failed.
i dont fricking care.


may i have the last dance?